Bananas

img_20161122_200713593

Yes. We have no bananas.

We have no bananas today.

This was the banana display at my local No Frills store last night. As you can see, there are no bananas. Well, there’s one, yeas, but honestly it was very unattractive. The last inch of it had turned a gangrenous black. Trust me, no one’s eating that banana.

So where have all the bananas gone? Well, at 66 cents a pound they very likely have just been shopped out. I don’t know if this is a disturbing sign of the end times or anything and, no, I did not check any other stores to see if their supply of bananas was up to snuff. Perhaps this is the beginning of the great banana apocalypse of 2016?

Or maybe it was just a good deal.

I’m not complaining for myself, though. I like bananas but I can’t eat them. They give me an upset stomach. My wife doesn’t like them. So, again, this is not a personal tragedy or anything. Nevertheless I think it behooves me to check out the banana situation at the other grocery stores in town today. I need to do the legwork and discover for myself if this is a real thing or merely a one-time anomaly.

I will investigate and, believe me, I will be reporting back.

Internet Daleks

exterminate

Anyone who is familiar with the BBC’s long running science fiction television series Doctor Who knows what a Dalek is. Even if you don’t watch the show, you may well be aware of the Daleks and what they are.

For those who don’t know, Daleks are the most feared enemies in the Doctor Who universe.

The Daleks are merciless and pitiless cyborg aliens bent on conquest of the universe and the extermination of what they see as inferior races; their catchphrase, “Exterminate!”, is a well-recognized reference in British popular culture. The Daleks were engineered by an evil scientist, genetically modified and integrated with a tank-like, robotic shell, removing their every emotion apart from hate. The Daleks view themselves as the supreme race in the universe and are intent on purging the universe of all non-Dalek life. Daleks are shapeless and defenseless blobs of flesh encased in armor so they are invulnerable. Though only armed with a single laser and a menacing suction cup, in the context of the show the Daleks are the deadliest foes that the Doctor comes up against.

Today on the internet there is a type of person known as a troll. An internet troll is a person who sows discord by starting arguments or upsetting people, by posting inflammatory or offensive messages in online communities with the deliberate intent of provoking readers or otherwise disrupting normal discussion for their own amusement.Trolls deface Internet tribute sites. causing grief to families. They attack groups and individuals online with sexual, emotional and intellectual harassment.

But maybe trolls is the wrong name. Perhaps we should start calling them internet Daleks. They surround themselves with technology and online anonymity, making them feel invulnerable. They travel about the various internet byways, swooping in and shouting “Exterminate! Exterminate!” and terrifying and infuriating online citizens.

Perhaps all vestige of humanity has been stripped away. Perhaps the echo chamber of their own ideas blared back at them has driven them mad over the years. Perhaps their bodies are slowly de-evolving into a soft and shapeless mush. Fearful of anything different from themselves, ensconced in the darkness of their parent’s basements, never seeing the sun or encountering any others that are not also Daleks, their hatred of others has grown like a cancer and is spreading.

Indeed, trollish, or Dalek-like behavior, is becoming ubiquitous online. Protected by the armor of internet anonymity they are compelled to attack any whose ideas or political affiliation is different from our own.

Internet Daleks hack their way into databases. laptops, smartphones and they pillage and rape the electronic landscape, making away with stolen emails, naked selfies or incriminating videos, which they eagerly disseminate far and wide. Privacy is laid waste by the rampaging Daleks. One’s most deeply hidden secrets are dragged screaming into the light like villagers being dragged from their burning homes by pitiless raiders.

They seem unbeatable. Just as the Doctor is the only one who can defeat the Daleks, only the most rigorous of intellects can stymie the internet Dalek. Even so, the Dalek will never be destroyed. They may scuttle off to their little home on the web but they will regroup and grow emboldened again, ready for another attack.

Just like on Doctor Who, the Doctor can never fully defeat his greatest enemy. No matter how many times he engages them, somehow they always come back.

That’s the thing about internet Daleks. They always find a way to come back to threaten again.

Cough/Cold Update

The cough/cold is all but gone. After sounding like Lou Rawls/Barry White, Morgan Freeman, Chewbacca and the audio track of an Akira Kurosawa film I’m back to sounding like myself and, you know what? Myself is not a bad thing to be!

Me and Moggy

On the weekend my wife and I put together a new computer desk (well, new to us. We bought it off a friend). We decided that a new workspace needed a new chair as our old re-purposed kitchen chair wasn’t quite up to snuff anymore. One quick trip downtown and – voila! The perfect chair for the brand new work space!

desk

There’s even a little corner for some of my silly desk toys.

toys

Now let’s see if the combination of my recovery and the new workspace makes me more productive!

Well, hope spring eternal…